A Desperately Needed Mental Health Day

Life can definitely be exhausting, especially during the holiday season, when we're facing multiple roles and responsibilities with work, family and friends. All these things are needed and are good, but when is it time to put yourself first? 

The answer is we should always make ourselves a priority. This may look different depending on your interests, such as mindfulness, making time to do something you enjoy, reading a good book or just simply taking the time to rest. However, sometimes life gets so busy that we put our needs on the back burner which can cause us to desperately need a mental health day. 

Why do I feel guilty taking time off? 

Taking time for ourselves is not anything that we need to be ashamed of, however, so often we beat ourselves up for not being able to “do it all”. We create unrealistic expectations of ourselves that we use as our measuring stick to judge ourselves against. 

In addition, rarely can we get a true separation from the tasks and responsibilities that cloud our inbox. We have grown so accustomed to always being connected that when we actually say that we are taking a day off for ourselves; we end up working in some fashion by checking our emails or keeping up with our daily tasks at work. Now that many of us work from home, our boundaries between work and home become clouded, and it is increasingly difficult to find that separation. 

It’s easy to feel guilty about taking a day off for ourselves. It's not something that society necessarily teaches us to do, however, it can end up being great for mental health and our productivity in the long run. 

Our guilt stems from fear

Brené Brown often talks about the difference between guilt and shame and defines shame as “I am bad” vs. guilt as “I did something bad”. In her work, she describes the benefits of guilt over shame as teaching us who we do and don’t want to be. While this may be a step in the right direction, guilt continues to create negative effects in our lives.

If we stick with this definition of guilt, it almost implies that we cause some harm to ourselves by taking the day off. In American culture, we often see work as a normal part of society in order to survive and thrive, so it can often be very scary taking a day off. 

Some fears that may arise are:

• Being seen as underperforming

• Fear of missing out on a promotion

• Fear of falling behind

• Fear of being seen as less than from coworkers and peers

• Fear of being undervalued

• Fear of being seen as ungrateful for the job you have

• Not living up to yours or others' expectations

 Identifying the root of your guilt is important so you can challenge those fears that are not founded or are unrealistic. While all these factors are extremely valid, it should not deter you from taking a well-timed mental health day when you need it. 

Benefits of a Mental Health Day

1.     Great way to Recharge

Unfortunately, humans aren't like the energizer bunny, we can't keep going and going and going. Our bodies need rest and so does our mind. Taking a mental health day is a great way to recharge both the body and mind so that We can keep our creative juices flowing. When we are mentally, emotionally, and physically tapped out, we lack the creativity of mind and flexibility to be able to problem-solve.

2.     Helps with Productivity

Taking a mental health day is a great way to sharpen your ax, which is your mind. When you are able to take time off and rest and recharge, you can come back stronger and more focused. This helps with productivity in both schoolwork and work because you are no longer accomplishing tasks from a place of scarcity but rather of abundance. When you give yourself the break you need, you may be surprised by how when you return to your work, you can do so with much more clarity and focus than before. 

3.     Reduces Stress

Stress is something familiar to us all, although that does not mean that it needs to overwhelm you. When you have healthy practices and a routine in place, you are more equipped to deal with the stresses you face. There are many reasons why it is important to remember to keep your stress in check: High stress levels can lead to an increased risk of a heart attack or stroke, it can suppress the immune system, and it can even disrupt our digestive systems. Taking a mental health day is one way to help mitigate the effects of stress and reduce stress in your life. 

“Caring for the mind is as important and crucial as caring for the body. In fact, one cannot be healthy without the other”

~anonymous~

What to do during a mental health day

As the point of a mental health day is to rest and recharge, it is important to be mindful of your schedule on those days you allow yourself that much-needed break. Make sure your schedule consists of activities that help you rest and recharge. 

This may look different for every person. The best place to start is to ask yourself what is it do I need? If you have been working early mornings and late nights to keep up with your workload, then it might be beneficial to sleep in during your day off. If work has kept your busy and connection seems to be missing, then scheduling an outing with your friend is what you may need. Even sparing a few moments to check in with yourself and gather a sense of what you might be missing can work wonders. 

There are an array of activities and possibilities to fill up the day: from a spa day to getting a massage to going out for a walk to spending the day at a dog park. The possibilities are endless. The important thing is just to focus on resting your mind by staying away from things that might cause you stress and recharging your body by giving it the love that it deserves.  

Here are some possible mental health day activities:

• Sleeping

• Cooking

• Working on a hobby

• Taking a long bath

• Spa Day

• Hiking

• Going for a walk

• Playing with your pets

• Painting

• Meeting up with a loved one
  

Things to Avoid During A Mental Health Day

Now that the importance of taking a mental health day has been addressed, it is also important to keep in mind how to make the most of your mental health day. 

The most effective mental health days are actually not done in isolation. This can be tempting since many of us crave a mental health day during the times when we are most stressed, depressed or overwhelmed. The desire to isolate is a natural action urge to these emotions. Unfortunately, isolation will not bring you the relief that you desire, and neither will some other maladaptive coping skills.  

Here are some things to avoid during a mental health day:

• Isolating

• Binge-watching shows/movies on Netflix

• Smoking, drinking or using other substances

• Eating too much junk food

• Social Media

• Wallowing in negative emotions

I am not saying that there is no room for watching your favorite show or treating yourself to a sweet on your precious day off, only that we should be conscious about how the activities listed above actually make us feel. We’ve likely all lost too much time scrolling on social media, only to come away feeling worse about ourselves, or we’ve gotten ourselves worked up about our old neighbor’s post about politics, and maybe we’ve spent hours binging a show on Netflix that we don’t actually like or care about. 

We choose these activities because they feel easier than making choices about how to spend our day in ways that will actually refresh us. 

It’s also important to note that while we’ve focused here on taking a day away from work or other responsibilities, for those who are not financially able to take an entire day off, or where it is not feasible, taking care of yourself might look like taking the afternoon off, taking a quick power nap, or taking a stroll outside on an unseasonably warm day. 

Overall, there are many benefits to taking a mental health day and these often outweigh the valid fears behind it. So, the next time that you feel stressed or overwhelmed consider taking a mental health day. You might find that it is a lot more useful than trying to go without it. 

I have experience working with many clients who are overworked, feel overwhelmed, and are stuck under the pressure of modern life and their expectations for themselves. Taking a break or a moment away to be able to re-center can be a huge help to your mental health. Therapy with me can operate both as an opportunity to step back and gain some perspective, as well as a way to gain resources about how to construct your life moving forward. 

If you keep getting trapped in the cycle of unrealistic expectations for yourself or are desperately in need of a mental health day, contact me today to discover how to set a new standard for yourself.